Capt. Itch is not only an old stinking pirate bastage, but also the President of
 Tennessee Holster Company.

And so the story goes...
once upon a time there was a grumpy old pirate living deep down in the Florida Keys, on a little island at the end of the road called "Key West". I'm sure you never heard about it. The good old times of galleons loaded with treasures of the Old World passing by was long gone and instead new ships with course to the island came just to drop off herds of screaming and loud primitives for a few hours a day.

Capt. Itch had to make a living, and he did what he knew best - fishing. Soon some of those primitives asked him if they could join him, and after a short time he had made himself a reputation as "Capt. Itch aka Capt. Larry Cohen, the flats fishing guide".

He did that for many many years, living on his houseboat and going fishing, when one day a maiden from the Old World, Germania, ended up stranded on the shores of the island. They soon fell madly in love with each other, and Capt. Itch decided not to let her go anymore, and he went to his treasure box and gave her the most beautiful ring he had.

They lived together happily on the island until the primitives took over. There were no more deserted beaches where the Captain and his maiden could go to and enjoy the wind in the palm trees. They decided to wrap everything up, and went on the road north bound.

After days of travelling they ended up in a land called Tennessee, where people talked different, but were nice, and everywhere there was a familiar smell in the air. It reminded the Captain of the old pirate days, but is wasn't the salt water, is was....Whiskey!

He knew he was at the end of his journey. So he and his maiden, Isabel, built a home and settled down. Over time they took in critters that would have died if not taken in, and the family grew in form of 4-legged members.

But Capt. Itch got restless, and Isabel became inpatient with him always being  around, and she sent him out to find something to do with himself. Since he always enjoyed his guns that haven't been used since the Old Days, he started taking care of them. He didn't like the holsters that were available 100%, so he made his own. People liked what he did, and soon the holster making became a business.

At the same time he started missing his life as a pirate. He was stuck with his nose in the leather shop instead of the wind. That's when the steel horse fairy came to see him and said "Capt. Itch, you have been a good fellow for a long time now, you deserve to have a wish." He wished to have a steel horse, and BAM! there it was, a beautiful white Police Bike that could make a noise so loud like the cannons on his old schooner year earlier.

He was so happy to put his nose in the wind, that he asked his Isabel to join him and get herself one too so they could ride together. Being used to work with leather for the gun holsters, they started making things they could put on the bikes to hold beverages. (Beverages are an important thing in a pirate's life)...and one thing came to another.

Solely by accident they stumbled upon a book that is somewhere hidden in a thing that looks like a TV. The book has many many pages, which are called "web pages"...who knows about all the new stuff. That book had a page where other pirates would meet...but not really...everybody was at home but writing in the same book. Don't ask me how that works. Those pirates called themselves Gazintas and Captain Itch was happy, that he wasn't the only pirate any more and joined them. But that is a whole other can read up on that by going to that big book in the TV yourself. Go here:

Capt. Itch became a Gazinta and lovely Isabel joined the Doof Clenas, where she received the official title of a Doof Babe. Even thou they are in two different camps, they are still very much in love with each other and very much enjoy riding together happily ever after.

And the Legend continures...